Goodnight Kiss

A year has been added to my age recently. I could comment about my feelings on that whole dealio, but why? Probably just best to accept that the number is just a number. Hmmm. I’m going to keep that in mind when I see the number on the doctor’s office scales later this month.

My family gathered here at our hacienda and loved on me with their presence, hugs, food, cards, games, gifts, laughs, fun stories. It was a great day. I was playing Sirius music through our TV speaker and displaying old family pictures through the Roku as I do often, VERY often.

While playing games, my oldest daughter wanted to change to some different music. You know, those silly kids don’t always enjoy their folks’ music. I was fine with that, Sirius Country Yacht channel had been playing for hours.

As we went back to playing cards the music she had selected made me catch my breath. The piano sounded like me playing. The voices sounded like my young daughters. And my husband and me.

The oldest daughter had been cleaning out boxes of stuff in their home and came across a cassette tape from her youth. “Noises from the Coffman Parlor”. Long ago in an earlier chapter of life, we made the tape while doing our favorite thing of singing together. She doesn’t have a cassette player anymore. Do you? Yeah, likely not. But she found someone who was able to convert the contents of the cassette into a CD.

As we listened the girls reminisced about our youngest always being forced to sing the soprano high notes because no one else could. “We all had alto voices, why did I have to sing the high parts,” she lamented. And the solo that girl #1 sang for her high school graduation was on there. Along with songs where the three of us sang harmony. Hubby sang from time to time. He was notorious for singing wrong lyrics. 😜 Don’t get me wrong, though. He LOVED singing with his 3 girls.

But then our focus went back to playing games. We are gamers. There was fun to be had with the kids and grandkids and us old folks. The game was Flip 7 Extreme, and our oldest son-in-love was pretty much dominating most of the games.

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The next evening my husband asked me if I’d like to listen to the music again, just the two of us. We wanted to listen more closely. So we did.

And right there in our living room I was transported back to 108 E Vine. I looked over and saw that his eyes were closed. A tear or two on his cheeks. Mine, too. I knew “where” he was, too. Our minds were seeing two little girls. Our hearts were recalling the younger days of our family life. So long ago. So very long ago. Good times, not so good times. Life.

On one of the first songs played I heard my voice singing these words and I could still remember the words to sing along:

“I count it as a privilege, I count it cause for praise, to kiss my children goodnight at the end of every day. For I know too soon they’re up and gone and walking out the door, and I’ll never have a child to kiss goodnight anymore”.

The song is Goodnight Kiss by Steve & Annie Chapman. From the 1970’s.

We talked about how difficult it was to hear this music without choking up and shedding a flood of tears. But we listened to every song.

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It is so easy, way too easy in fact, for me to be caught up in thinking about all the things I did wrong as a young mom. Wow there was a lot of “wrong” to think about. Do all moms deal with this same mindset?

But sitting there listening and remembering through the tears was like a gentle hug from God.

It’s very hard for me to believe but maybe….. I was all He intended me to be as a mom to my girls.

Maybe you were/are, too. God takes our pitiful, weak, often failed efforts and He makes them enough.

HE is enough, we’re sure not. And that’s the good news. He is a good good Father.

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Thank you dear daughters for the precious beautiful day. Thank you God for my family. ❤️

Broken? Beyond repair?……not so fast my friend.

Are you one who gets excited to fix broken stuff? Can you part with items that simply do not function anymore? Some folks really find joy in diagnosing and fixing up and repairing….and then there’s me. I once declared our dishwasher as a goner and insisted that it simply could not be fixed. My husband tried to trouble shoot it but alas, all attempts to make it function failed. Bought a new fancy high dollar dishwasher, installed it, pretty impressed with its shiny new features, turned it on. Uh, it wouldn’t turn on. Tried this, tried that, looked at each other, shook heads and exchanged unpleasantries.

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Stroll or scroll?

Last evening around 9p I went for a walk. It had been a routine hot summer day in Kansas but my legs told me, “get up, woman, and take a walk”. It’s just so easy to fall into a habit of sitting with cellphone in hand, scrolling through news clips and social media, fogging the old brain with far less than uplifting content.

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Little People and Toy Boats

Little people. And toy boats. On the ledge of our bathroom’s whirlpool tub. Does this scene bring a tear to your eye? Likely not. I mean, usually I stay calm and tear free when I see them….unless I’m fixing to clean that tub. Then growls, tears, sighs all indicate my distaste for cleaning.

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Mad Skillz? Nah…??

Our retired life plans involved RV life and travel. The opportunity to combine that with volunteer work at various faith based organizations across the country presented itself shortly after retirement. And it seemed like the perfect fit.

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What YOU lookin’ at anyway?

Well today I had a little flashback as I was doing my morning face routine in the mirror.

Do you happen to recall your very least favorite song when you were a teenager? The mirror reminded me today. “At Seventeen”. Are you familiar with the song?

I learned the truth at seventeen that love was made for beauty queens…..

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Need to Know Basis

The new year, 2022, came right on in the door and sat down. Looking suspiciously similar to the past two years. I feel certain that I’m not the only person on the planet who is done with the pandemic. Every news clip on COVID, vaccines, deaths, hospitalizations? I just can’t anymore. Not that I don’t care. That’s not it at all. I do care. The numbers, the news, the pictures, the personal stories really break my heart.

This morning when I woke up my mind was filled with an intensely awful memory from when I was around 5 years old. Involving a life altering event to my parents and sisters and myself. You won’t get details, but the effects of that event were permanent and sad. Anyway, as this flash of memory hit my brain waves I sensed God asking me “Can you be thankful even though….?” What a difficult thing to ponder. Especially at 5 in the morning. I couldn’t answer right away.

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Simple, Sweetie.

Gravity. Not my friend.

Aging has been working overtime on me, it seems. Good grief. Sagging parts. Wrinkles in the most unusual places. More chins than anyone would ever possibly need. Curious bumps and spots on my skin, some that can be frozen off by the derm doctor. Of course they find their way back to new locations, and bring their friends with them. Oh, but they are “harmless”. Except for the bruises to my psyche.

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Gifts and Givers

In your own experience, who has historically been the parent most likely to shop for and/or create all the gifts given in your family? For me it was my mother. As a result, I really don’t remember many details about the gifts she gave me. Except that she generously gave to her children. So many gifts over the years. And so much of herself.

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Walls, foundations and bucket lists

We like to travel. Actually, we love to travel. I was born with the “let’s go” gene. And I believe the hubby was, too. So, we have done a lot of traveling when possible. Life has put a bit of a cramp in that plan, but still, we travel.

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Speaking silently

What speaks to your soul? For me, it’s almost always the wonders of God’s creation. We travel a lot to beautiful mountains, lakes, oceans, and so on. But sometimes the wonders of creation are in my own backyard.

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One Best Thing

1958-ish

Today is Father’s Day. This is my daddy, whom I have written about often. We had 17 years together. I’ve had 50 years of life beyond those 17 years. Without him. Do I miss him, even 50 years later? Well, yes.

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A moment in time

I had a “moment” the other day. It all started when I saw my hairbrush while getting ready for the day. It was full of gray hair. FULL of gray hair. And in that moment, I “saw” my mom. Of course when my eyes lifted to look in the mirror, there she was again.

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While you wait on the Doorkeeper

Do you like to wait? When we go to restaurants and see more than 10 people in line generally we turn right back around and leave. That’s how much we like to wait. Once in south Wichita I was stuck in my car waiting on a train, and it turned into a 45 minute wait. Then I learned this was the norm for that particular area! I just can’t think of anything I really enjoy waiting for. Not food, not trains, not telephone calls on hold. I could go on and on.

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Is there really no place like home?

We were driving through the Flint Hills of Kansas yesterday. Isn’t it beautiful?

Maybe you do this too……read on.

There are homes in this picture. You can’t see them well from this view but I assure you they are there. We drove down several lovely country roads while driving to and from this location. The views were just stunning, I’m not exaggerating. And as usual, I love seeing the homes on these acreages. On absolutely serene looking acreages that just scream “Perfect Life”. Do you know what I’m talking about? I look at these homes and think how awesome it would be to live there.

So….do you dream and imagine and envy a bit on drives like this? Like I do?

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There’s a Lighthouse….on a (really steep) hillside

After a long period of time with no volunteering trips with our RV, we finally finally are able to get back out there and go. As I mentioned in my blog post titled “Purpose and Plans”, everything kinda stopped in 2020 for us due to Rotten Rona. In 2019 we began the volunteering plan, in 2020 it screeched to a halt. Only two projects total for us and BAM, done.

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